Expectations…. expectations

We all have expectations. We all want our life to go in a certain direction and want to have it the way we want or the way we envisioned it. We want to control our world too much and we expect our environment, the people around us to act the way we want them to act. But, that always leads to frustration, anger, disappointment,…

The reality is… We need to live more in reality, which means that we can never control the world around us. We have to stop to create our own reality. The world is unpredictable, and that doesn’t have to be bad. If we live more in the now and act good, act according to our values, but without expecting people to praise us all the time or expect our spouse to behave the way we want, we live a good life. Our no-idealives will become less stressful, because you can let go more often and you will be kind to the people around you.

Imagine that you come home later from work. You told your spouse you would be late and you expected him or her to have cooked dinner. You come home and your spouse is on the couch reading a book or watching tv. When you expected your cooked dinner, you might act grumpy, and feel frustrated and angry at your spouse. You’re in for a not so nice evening.
When, on the other hand, you come home with no expectations and are just happy to be home and finally have some time to relax, you will sit next to your spouse and ask him or her about their day. You chat for a while and then you can decide to cook together, order takeout or go out, whatever you two feel like. You will have a nice evening together and you could talk to your spouse about your busy day, which makes you feel better already.

This is what expectations give us. They make us feel bad and it makes that we don’t enjoy our time with our loved ones the way we could. So, time to get rid of all your expectations and live life the fullest. Live it in its reality and not only in your reality.

Of course, it is difficult to live without any expectations at all, but whenever you feel you are expecting too much of yourself or of someone else, bring it into awareness and don’t react to it. If you feel frustrated, because your spouse or your friend didn’t act the way you wanted, think that it’s not up to you to tell them how they should act. Let go of these bad feelings, shrug them off or do something to change your mind (e.g. go for a walk) and smile. The world will be a better place if we do and your life will be more pleasant and carefree. Worth a try, no?

Let me know what frustrates you and how you are handling it!